In a further bid to ensure that everyone in the UK will be queuing up to defecate on their doorsteps government officials have released their plans for Digital Britain.

The plans include taxing the public to finance plans to give everyone 2 whole megabytes of broadband and launching an attack on digital piracy with the help of a ‘digital champion.’ In a surprisingly insightful and probably unintentionally true statement shadow culture secretary Jeremy Hunt, who appears to hate rhyming slang, called the document a “colossal disappointment.”

Stinky Ponky spoke to people on the streets of Bristol to gauge public opinion.

Stella Becks, a Store Assistant said “I already pay for 6 meg’s of broadband so I presume the tax won’t apply to me? No, of course it will, because they’ll squeeze every shitting penny out of me, won’t they?”

“Are Labour currently attempting to set a record for worst British government ever or something?” said Mark Mywerds, an Unemployed. "And what the piss is a Digital Champion? Isn't that someone out of Tron?

“I make a good living from selling dodgy porno DVDs at car boot sales. What do they expect me to do? Get a fucking job or something? They can eat my arse.”

Government plans to further reduce their popularity include the rumoured ‘existence tax’ although insiders say that Labour are worried that with the BNP around there’s always a bigger, fatter bastard on the horizon.