Encouraged By Pope German Bloke XVI, the Emperor at first announced that "Rome did not welcome such rowdy rabble" before an advisor whispered in his ear and he amended his statement to "You may spend your sestertii, but we'll have no trouble here."

As Manchester United fans flock towards Rome for the Champions League final next week Roman officials have announced a number of key areas which are no-go for the visitors. Mario Anluigi, a spokesman for the Senate, is telling fans "Stay away from the Piazzale Flaminio, the Ponte Duca D'Aosta and stay as far away as possible from the Campo dei Fiori square. Don't go to the Vatican, or the Colosseum. Or the Sistine Chapel. Probably best to steer clear of the Arch of Constantine too. The Circus Maximus is right out."

We interviewed one of the arriving Manchester United Barbarians, Dave Conan, on his arrival in Rome asking him what he thought of the Roman greeting. "I'll do whatever they say" says Dave, a solicitor from Romford "because I like my skin without extra holes in it."