Stinky Ponky caught up with Linda in Peckham while she was shopping for gin in Netto. She told us "Yes, it's all true. Vanessa rented my son's old room. She was forever bringing footballers back with her. They'd be banging away like a shithouse door in a gale all night. I used to have to turn the telly right up to hear Eastenders.

"It wasn't just Mr Terry - nice man by the way, he would come and watch Emmerdale with me after he'd finishing a bit of romping - there was a Mr Good Johnson who was a Swedish man all the way from Norway; Mr Cole who was very small and was sometimes black and sometimes white; Mr Drogba, who tried to eat my curtains once while I was watching Coronation Street; and Mr Grant who was apparently their boss, but he only ever came here to get directions away from here, every Tuesday while I was watching Holby City."

Linda's revelation has been followed by others from some of her neighbours. It would appear that her street has been a celebrity shag nest for many years now according to some of the claims. Dot Terdott from number 27 said "Lord Lucan lived in our shed for two weeks in 1974. He wouldn't come into the house as he wanted to stay close to Shergar in the garden. Is that worth anything?" Reg Plate from number 42 told us "The Four Tops perform a small concert in my front room most Friday evenings, but they have to keep it down as Madonna is usually round for rampant sex. That story will sell some newspapers, eh?"

 

Dave Watt from number 12 told us "Elvis once had a wank in our attic. Can I have some money please?"