Stinky Ponky visited Grange Hill Technology College in Londonshire to speak with students receiving their A-level results this morning.

Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking?

"I took Paper Folding, Snakes and Ladders and Hannah Montana Studies," 18 year old Britney Smith told us. "I needed like, at least an A and two Bs for my course in Advanced Eastenders at Leeds Metro but I only got two Es and a U. I'm like, 'that's ok, whatever,' I'll just ring the clearance man and get somewhere else that does WKD blue for 17p a bottle between 11 and 3 on weekdays. I've heard that if I get a course that's like, less than 16 hours a week or something I can claim job scroungers allowance or something, which would be SO cool."

 

When we asked Britney what she thought about claims that A-Levels were getting easier she said "I so don't care what people say, they were TOTALLY hard. I mean, I didn't sit them but my friend Stacey told me she had to do them without Google or anything. What? No, you get marks for spelling your name right when you're entered for the exam and also I watched like ALL of Hannah Montana last year which completed my coursework. That must be the the two Es. And thinking about it I might have got my name wrong on one of the forms, which would be the U I suppose. I think I put my MSN name 'SexyBritney69' on one of them. I get a lot of strange emails."

 

"I don't really know if I need to go to Uni to be honest. My hairdresser says she never went but apparently it's like a year of partying and the drinks are totally cheap and then you can just drop out. It sounds cool."

I Don't Know, What Are You Thinking?

It's not fair to say that all students are drunken party animals - some of them are potheads too

Stinky Ponky also spoke with Britney's parents, Jason and Kylie Smith. "I can't believe how quickly she's grown up," said Kylie, 29. "It only seems like five minutes since I did my dropout year while she lived with her gran, and we're still paying off the student loan. I'm so proud of her for completing her A-levels without getting pregnant."

 

We visited UCAS clearing while they helped Britney find a University course. "It's been frustrating," Bill Eaver, Chief Clearer told us. "They aren't bothered about which course they go on. It's all about the best place to go out and get wasted. I've signed one up just now for Advanced Star Trek at Cardiff. As for Britney, the only thing I could find her was Astrophysics at UMIST. She seems happy enough."