Queues of people unable to stand the thought of all the bad things that are taking place in the world without a peep at shit-loads of white lace surrounded Buckingham Palace earlier today, much to the astonishment of those who have both money and sense. One woman in the queue who had the decency to at least look slightly embarrassed told us: "It's not just a dress; it's shoes, a tiara and a replica bouquet you know," before realising what she had just said and dying of shame.

Stinky Ponky's royal correspondent Hannah Bellicosity-Jones said: "It's easy to accuse this exhibition of being a bit crap, but in these hard times is it such a bad thing that people can find some comfort in viewing some incredibly expensive second hand clothes and a big cake for just £17.50? Surely that's better than selling the lot on Ebay to try and dig Fergie out of the financial shit again. It might not work anyway. Princess Beatrice only got 99p for her hat, and that turned out to be her own bid.

"That said, pictures of the dress are plastered all over the internet in a manner so easy to find that a retarded monkey could call up a couple just by banging it's stupid face into a keyboard and screaming. There are also lots of pictures of other wedding dresses out there, and for those who are willing to go the extra mile large amounts of pictures of other types of clothing can be found,entirely for free and in the comfort of your own home."

Stinky Ponky spoke to one couple who were arguing in the queue. Dave Watt and his wife Davina had travelled all the way from their home in Kendal where they both work in a dog factory. He told us "I've driven for 5 hours and queued for another two and now my dear lady wife tells me that she was only joking when she said that Pippa's arse was also on show. Fuck it, I'm going to the pub."

Proceeds from the exhibition of Kate's wedding tackle will go towards buying enough Ouzo to keep Prince Philip permanently incoherent.