The unusual phenomenon, which has been nicknamed 'sky water', is not caused by Angels crying at people's general naughtiness as previously believed by Catholics, but is actually due to birds pissing. In 1514 a monk from Guildford called Dayve Wotte wrote in the records of the long since demolished Titmus Abbey "Sore distresse hath come upon us in ye forme of Angle tears wich do falle frome ye skye upon our heades. Pooles of water do forme on ye grounde making a righte olde messe of mine best shoes, let me telle ye.

 

"Methinks Godde muste be right pissed offe with ye Angles and given them a goode olde bollockinge fore they crye like a younge childe withe it's knobbe stuck in a pigge."

 

Professor Yaffle from the Skopje University of Freaky Shit in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia told Stinky Ponky "What, you mean rain? Well I don't know, you British get more weather than anyone in the world, but if it snows everything grinds to a halt, if it's sunny you turn red and complain about the heat and now you panic over rain? Since the average UK citizen gets rained on 378 days a year I'm not sure why you're all panicking.

 

"If you get an overcast day of average temperature with a light breeze and no rain or fog or snow or anything you will have fuck all to talk about. Actually, no - you'll say 'Isn't it still?' and then complain that it's too still, you don't mind it still but you don't like it this still, or something.

 

"Have you ever heard any weather related phrases regarding cats and dogs? No? We better not mention that then."