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KATONA QUESTIONED OVER ICELAND EXPLOSION
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April 15th 2010 Former I'm A Celebrity Queen of the Jungle Kerry Katona has been questioned by police investigating an explosion in Iceland, where the former Atomic Kitten used to work on the till before leaving amidst allegations of being an irritating gob shite.  D.I. Dave Watt from Merseyside Police told Stinky Ponky "I can confirm that Miss Katona did indeed assist in our enquiries, but was later released without charge after Rob turned the telly on and we found out it was bugger all to do with the supermarket. Rob said it was something to do with a volcano in north Scotland, in the Outer Hemorrhoids or something. In our defence it was only last Wednesday when the manager at our local Iceland called us to report that Miss Katona was shitting in the Aunt Bessies again. When we arrested her on that occasion she was a bit excitable, and ate two of our German Shepherds. Which is why, when we went to arrest her this time, we tasered her in the face first." The explosion occurred in the Ekajiykjisfklinfkesklkj region of East Iceland just north of Kljifysklkgegnkjleskkjij where locals were celebrating the ancient Icelandic Jeklieyfddtrklj festival. The blast killed four trolls and injured an estimated 37.5 others. 17% of the injured are described as in a serious condition with a further 14% of that 17%, or an estimated 0.8925 trolls, on the critical list. All are described as being cute, with multi-coloured hair. Many treasured national buildings, such as the Magnus Magnusson Centre for Starters who will Finish, have been badly damaged in the explosion. Pop singer Bjork was in the area at the time, and is thought to be fucking nuts.
The Chief troll of Kljifysklkgegnkjleskkjij, Bjork Magnusson, told Stinky Ponky "For many years we have held the festival at the foot of Mount Bjork; a volcano we believed was dormant. For centuries now it has been quiet, oh so quiet, but on that night... it blew a fuse! Zing! Boom! Leading many of us to wonder; so what's the use of falling in love?
"Our beloved Bjork has already promised a tribute concert at which she will re-enact her own birth using a series of giant, inflatable dogs before ceremonially punching a photographer. Many Icelandic officials have already promised to provide free food for the concert, but that's mainly because it's all melting and will soon go off.
"At the moment Mount Bjork has fallen oh so quiet, oh so still again, but we fear it may explode once more after the the second verse, causing another big riot.
"But for now... shhhh... shhhh..."
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