The haul has even greater significance after the government's chief drug advisor, Professor David Nutt, advised that Horse Riding is now as dangerous as Ecstasy.

 

A police spokesman told Stinky Ponky "Officers entered the property shortly before 6 o'clock this morning in a raid which was the culmination of an 18 month investigation. We discovered a concealed entrance at the rear of the building which led to a secret stables. Inside we found large quantities of horse riding in various forms, including almost 18 kilos of uncut Dressage. Several people had to be shot with Tasers, as we haven't had all had a go with them yet."

 

Stinky Ponky spoke to Professor Yaffle, an expert on street drugs at the Skopje University of Good Shit in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia. He told us "Horse riding is by no means a new drug. In fact we have historical documents describing a feast held by Genghis Khan where he and several hundred warriors got completely saddled off their girth straps on Gallop, which was a primitive form of Horse Riding heavily cut with Yak.

 

"In the UK today however it's becoming more of a problem as it grows in popularity. There are many strains of Horse Riding in use by people from all walks of life. It's not uncommon for young executives to smoke a little Badminton at a party, while hospitals report a rise in admissions of homeless people suffering from the effects of too much Gypo's Nag. Many members of the general public will also admit to having tried some Grand National at some point in their lives.

 

"But for some it becomes an addiction. Using Horse Riding over a prolonged period can seriously stunt your growth and affect your speech, eventually leaving you completely Detorried.

 

"My advice to young people would be to stay away from Horse Riding. If you're in the pub, or at a party, or even walking down the street and someone offers you Horse Riding, punch them in the cock."