The records of Hitler's youth were discovered accidentally by someone looking for records of Hitler's youth. They reveal how Hitler became frustrated by his Jewish Art Teacher after repeatedly failing the exam and begging for his help. In one letter from the future Fuhrer to his teacher, Hitler writes "Dear Mr Feigenbaum, Please could you give me some indication of what I need to do to pass this exam. I would dearly love to enter the Vienna Academy of Art and Systematic Genocide but I cannot do that unless I gain a pass at GCSE. Please, please help me."

In response, Mr Feigenbaum wrote "Dear Adolf, Come on now matey, this is getting beyond a joke. I really don't wish to hurt your feelings and I've tried to be nice but I'm getting a tiny weeny bit fucked off now. You've been trying to pass this exam for 15 loooong years. I would say it's time to bow out gracefully while you've still got some dignity, but let's face it, when you drew that still life of a nude woman with a massive knob you let your last shreds of dignity evaporate like piss on a radiator, didn't you? Sorry Adolf, I don't want to be rude, but I don't know how else to make you understand what a talentless little wanker you are. GIVE UP."

A clearly offended Hitler replies "Dear Mr Feigenbaum, Firstly it was NOT a massive knob; I was really nervous in that exam as that woman had no clothes on and I could see her furry sausage socket. I got excited and accidentally drew too many legs. As for your other comments, I think you would be wise not to talk to me like that. I don't wish to sound like I'm threatening you, but if you do it again I will get my friends to kick your fucking head in, ok? Now, let's put all of this animosity behind us shall we? Please just tell me what I need to do to pass the exam, I beg you."

The final letter from Hitler's Art Teacher reads "Dear Fuckface, Please drown. Kick my head in? You and who's army, you foul tempered little shit-weasel? I'll tell you what you need to do all right, you need to fuck yourself into the middle of next week, that's what you need to do. I'm more pissed off with you than Adam was when he caught his breath after running from the garden of Eden and turned to Eve to say 'Well fucking done you daft bitch.' YOU ARE SHIT AT ART. DIE.

"And shave off that fucking moustache. It looks like a prostitute's twat."