Doctor Ed Bones from the Nazi Skulls department at Skopje University in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia told Stinky Ponky "Over the years many people have disputed that this skull belonged to Hitler at all. They argue that it looks nothing like her, but there is a simple reason for this. At the time Hitler was using it she kept the front of the skull covered with her face, while the top was hidden under some short, side-parted hair. In addition to this we know from much photographic evidence that Hitler used a neck extension that allowed her to move around and manipulate objects. This extension, which she referred to as a 'body,' must have been the female version.

 

"In specific science words this means that Hitler was a woman, due to some other stuff and things. It also means that Eva Braun, who invented the electric shaver, was a lesbian. Therefore, if you follow the process logically, you will discover that Hitler was probably a lesbian too, although without any of her shoes to check for comfortability this is difficult to confirm."

Other scientists have disputed Doctor Bones' findings due to the fact that much of it is based on pure speculation. "Much of it is based on pure speculation," disputed Pete Straggon, an expert on German women from 1930-1956, referring to the findings. "Doctor Bones has conveniently ignored the fact that we have a great deal of musical evidence supporting the fact that Hitler had at least one testicle.

"In fact Doctor Bones apears to have based his entire theory on two debatable pieces of evidence; the fact that the skull's jawbone shows excessive wear due to heavy usage, which can, I admit, indicate a woman who talks too much and has a particular fondness for Warsaw in the autumn; and a photo of Eva Braun wearing sensible shoes.

"Oh, and an entry in Braun's diary which reads 'Hitler had a hissy fit at me tonight when I tried to cop a feel of her tits. She's always such a miserable cow at this time of the month. That's what got her started on the Jews.'

"That last bit is a bit more persuasive I suppose."