The move comes after the European Court of Human Rights ruled that presuming everyone was guilty until they could prove conclusively that they've never so much as had a wee in a swimming pool was actually illegal. Despite the planned changes the Home Office has come under fire from critics for it's new plan, who say that it's still not good a bit dodgy. Spokesman for the human rights website whatthefuckareyoulookingat.com Dave Watt told Stinky Ponky "The new plans are still fundamentally flawed. British privacy is virtually non existent these days. Statistics show that 4 in every 3 British citizens are captured on camera having a crap more than 300 times a day. The new government policy, while being a step in the right direction, also still includes a number of antique clauses that need to be seriously reviewed.

 

"The fact that innocence will be based upon whether people float or not when dunked in a pond for example - that seems positively medieval. And retaining the automatic right for a Police Officer to enter anyone's house without a warrant and look for sex toys in the knicker drawer is ridiculous."

 

Home Office spokesman Jim Carner defended the new plans. "You have to remember that in order to solve crime, you need criminals," he to,ld us. "How on earth would we find criminals if everyone was innocent? No, we have to keep criminals readily available for our police forces, and if you're not ready to prove your innocence when the time comes, then clearly you're guilty. Otherwise we would have to go out and find the people who actually committed the crime. Can you imagine how much time and effort that would take? Ridiculous. No, it's better this way. Think of it as national service. People should be proud to help their country remain safe by spending some time in prison. After all, anal sex isn't that bad! Ha, ha, ha.

 

"Um, not that I'd know. It was a good friend that told me. Well, not that good a friend. Actually it was my friend's friend, not my friend.

 

"Um...."