"And that comedian as well, the one from the last hearing with the shaving foam on a paper plate," said Dave Watt, a headed person with eyes and everything. "I still haven't forgiven him for wasting a perfectly good opportunity to smear a Murdoch in cat shit. I presume he pleaded insanity, but fuck it, burn him. And what happened to that ginger bitch? May as well make it a bonfire while we're on. Honestly, I'll do it myself if you like. I've got some old copies of the News of the World to get it started."

Lots of other people with arms have said that the time for burning has arrived now and let's not piss about anymore, come on. An elderly woman from Ealing has also confirmed that despite the fact she has lost two thirds of her marbles and spends most of the day pissing herself, she still appears to know more about News Corporation than James Murdoch.

Murdoch, who appeared before a Commons Committee to give evidence again yesterday, testified that he still believed that he knew pretty much nothing about anything really, asking MPs to explain exactly what had happened again and who he worked for before wondering why they couldn't just get over it and move on. "I reckon you need to let it go now," he told Labour MP Tom Watson, adding: "It's unhealthy. Leave it."

Mr Watson said to Mr Murdoch "I've been asked by my constituents to tell you that you're a wriggling little shit," before asking: "Is your Dad dead yet?" After Mr Murdoch explained that he did not believe his dad was dead as his lawyer may possibly have confirmed the existence of Rupert Murdoch at some point in the past he believed possibly, Mr Watson asked: "Do you have a freezer full of horse's heads?" To which Mr Murdoch replied, "No, I've got some Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire Puddings and a.... oh shit, I've just realised I left a can of lager in there last night. That's the fish fingers fucked then."

Mr Watson, speaking through the mouth he has under his nose and eyes, said: "I like fish fingers." Nobody looked surprised.

Following the inquisition lots of people wondered what it was all about and some people who had watched it on telly moaned about BBC repeats and complained that they'd missed the good bit where the Asian woman had beaten up the fuck-wit. Some other people in the studio said they were pretty sure it was live, before someone at the back said: "Is that it then? Can we burn him?"