The leader of the Church of Great Britain and Wales, General Synod, has said that although God is quite keen on tits, having designed them himself, he did not want the things that they are attached to in charge of the Church.

Earlier today a deeply concerned General Synod told lots of men in dresses "There's something quite wrong about the thought of women in charge. Isn't it bad enough that some of our vicars now have ovaries? Not content with that, women seem keen to infiltrate all levels of our Church. Unless we make a stand against it now, we're going to be up to our necks in ecclesiastical twat.

"I mean, it's not like we'd get the ones that would look good. It would be just our luck for all the hairy knuckled, thick set munters to come crawling out of the woods to be bishops. For the sake of Christ's favourite stripy underpants, have you seen the Vicar of Dibley? I think you'll find that there's a prick in bishopric. Nearly. Let's make sure that there's always a prick in our bishop's robes. There's always been a prick in them until now, so why change it? We don't want bishop's robes full of tits, thank you very much. There are already too many tits in the Church."

Stinky Ponky spoke with Davina Watt from the Campaign for Titted Bishops who told us "It's about time the Church embraced change. For centuries it's been all about men believing in God and all of that Jesus shite. We want to prove that women can be just as infuriatingly gullible as the men can. Loaves and fishes? Of course he did! And he swam to the moon to invent breathing too!"

"Basically, if there's anything with a fanny in the pulpit of my cathedral then God will squash it."