May 26th 2009

Liberal Democrat Treasury Spokesman Vince Cable has taken the time to remind the public that it's not just MPs who have been naughty recently; bankers have been naughty too.

Mr Cable said "Some of our MPs have been doing things that you didn't like at all but can I remind you it was within the rules and it's all sorted out now. Anyway, we all know it was entirely the fault of Michael Martin." He went on to say "I think if you look quite closely at HBOS you'll find that they've been very, very naughty indeed and far naughtier than us."

MPs from other parties have joined with Mr Cable in pointing the finger firmly elsewhere including Prime Minister Gordon Brown, texture like sun, who said "Christ's holy piss in a bottle, anything but expenses. We're in the middle of a pig flu epidemic as well. Have you fucking forgotten?"

Barry Cooder, Stinky Ponky's financial expert from the University of Skopje in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia said "We can see from the business model that both bankers and the government have been digging into public money. We call this 'mining' the public. Now as the 'mining' goes much deeper we call it 'shafting'. It would appear that both the government and the banks have been 'shafting' the public for some time."

HBOS declined to comment other than to say "The grassing bastards! Royal Bank of Scotland are far naughtier than us."

We tried contacting Sir Fred Goodwin, former CEO of RBS, who said "I can't hear you very well. I'm visiting my old chum Ronnie Biggs in Brazil and it's a bad line I'm afraid, sorry." We asked Sir Fred for further comment on the subject but he told us; "terribly sorry - can't hear you over the racket. We're just polishing off some champers in Ronnie's hot tub with some naked lingerie models and it's very difficult to hear you over all the big, fat laughter."

Stinky Ponky would like to point out to those of you who know where Sir Fred lives that he appears to be on holiday at the moment.