British Airways has today announced that it will be charging all staff national minimum wage or 28 pints of blood per annum or “sexual favours if fit enough” for the privilege of having a job in these difficult times.

The move follows the successful roll out of plans for all members of staff to work for free and is part of the new company policy to “really, really take the piss where ever possible and as often as possible until people are violently sick at the mere thought of us.”

There have been suggestions that future developments may involve selling all the aircraft and sneaking BA passengers into the luggage compartments of rival airlines; transporting luggage by a series of giant medieval catapults known as trebuchets and having pedals fitted in front of the seats so that passengers can power the ‘plane. The last of these methods is expected to take place in the near future after a series of BA warning stickers were leaked containing the motto ‘ONLY STOP PEDALLING IF YOU CAN FLY.’

BA Spokesman, Mr T, told Stinky Ponky “Quit your jibber jabber sucka,” adding; “I ain’t getting on no plane foo.”

Barry Cooder, Stinky Ponky's financial expert from the University of Skopje in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia said “You have to take your hat off to them; it’s a real achievement. This is a special and new kind of pie-eating fat bastardry. Take the lowest of the low and watch them limbo under it. Brilliant”