An X-Factor employee has accidentally revealed a number of show secrets, including the fact that the entire opening live show was powered by Robbie Williams, a treadmill and a bag of 'energy dust'.

The error came as the unnamed production assistant left a memory stick in McDonalds on Oxford Street which was later handed in by a conscientious member of the public to a tabloid newspaper for an undisclosed sum. Files on the stick have revealed that the X-Factor is not quite as spontaneous as it would sometimes appear.

Some of the documents indicate that Danni's gay 'gaffe' with contestant Danyl was not quite as accidental as it appeared but was part of plan to 'dirty up' the Australian star's image. Danni, who is famous for being Kylie Minogue's sister, is planned to make at least one 'gaffe' a week, including comparing contestant Rachel to Lady Gaga by saying 'you're both rumoured to have a cock, aren't you?'

Also included in the files are full details of plans for Irish twins John and Edward. They confirm that the pair, who have already beaten Barry and Paul Chuckle to this year's 'Brothers You Would Most Like To Strangle With Your Own Lower Intestine After Ripping It From Your Body With Your Bare Hands In Sheer Irritation' award, will be kept in the show for at least a further 6 weeks. Before the twins - who are only four feet tall but have strategically grown their hair so that they can get on all of the rides at Alton Towers - are 'voted' out of the show they will perform a version of Bitches Ain't Shit during Snoop Dogg week and Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter on Iron Maiden week. When they finally leave the show they will be humanely destroyed and melted down for their mineral content.

Other files on the memory stick include a list of rejected ideas for the show, including Joe Dolce week where all contestants would be required to sing their own version of Shaddap You Face; Where Are They Now? which would have been an article visiting various supermarkets to discover what previous X-Factor winnners are currently doing, and Simon Laughs And Laughs And Laughs which would have featrured His Royal Highness Simon Cowell laughing until he lost consciousness at the thought of all the money he has made by telling cack loads of people what a load of old toss they are.

In related news previous X-Factor winner Leon Wotsit has been spotted on the moon chasing Lord Lucan on Shergar. By Robbie Williams.