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BGT IN TRADE DESCRIPTIONS TROUBLE
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June 7th 2010 Producers of ITV's Britain's Got Talent are in hot water after a number of people pointed out that actually, no, Britain really hasn't got any fucking talent at all according to your tossy programme, you wankers.  A number of complaints were posted on the BGT forums by disgruntled viewers. Ted Bundy from County Down wrote "Dear fucking God on Jesus' tricycle... what the fuck was all that about? I can't believe I watched it until the end without spying a single twatting piece of talent, and yes, I include that trout lipped thing that used to boff Les Dennis. I demand you return approximately 25 hours of my sodding life, you insipid little cack wizards. Alternatively, I will accept tickets to next year's X-factor."
Al Capone from Worcester wrote "So basically the best that Britain could offer was a steaming pile of shit? I don't think that qualifies as talent any more than Liam Gallagher qualifies as human. Please arrange for them all to be strangled and dumped in the Thames."
Harvey Nicholls from Norwich simply put "I just don't understand. Please explain it to me because I don't understand. Please."
One source at Buckingham palace has told Stinky Ponky that Mrs Her Majesty is not best pleased. She was overheard to say "Fuck it Phil, I ain't going to that Royal Variety bollocks now. I'm stopping at home and watching the corgis shag this year. I'd rather sell Fergie for 500 K than watch that piss again. It's most embarrasing when you start snoring and I have to keep nudging you, isn't it Phil?
"Phil? You're asleep NOW, aren't you? WAKE UP YOU DAFT OLD GREEK BASTARD and pass me my pipe."
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