During her performance in Bucharest 51 year old Madonna told a jeering audience "It has been brought to my attention that there is a lot of discrimination against Romanies and Gypsies in general in Eastern Europe - it made me feel very sad." She added, "I think that these exotic, romantic travellers are a wonderful, misunderstood people with lovely, colourful, wooden caravans and the luckiest of heathers. It's a beautiful tribute to the life of yesteryear."

 

Concert goer Iona Skoda said "Gypsies? I did not hear what she was saying. So this must mean Madonna has never met Gypsies? I was booing with everyone else, yes, but not about Gypsies. I travelled a long way with my sister-aunt to boo Madonna, as did many others. She is shit you see, her music is like a big horse violently loving a smaller horse that does not want it. Have you heard that sound? No? Then listen to Ray of Light - it is the same exactly.

 

"But Gypsies you say? This is madness. We discriminate, yes. We discriminate against all who would steal the teeth from our mouths while loving our families in the wrong holes. This is not because they are Gypsies. This is because they are bastards."

Madonna felt the first effects of her comments backfiring when her chauffeur was unable to collect her from the airport due to her car being on bricks in the stables. According to one eyewitness Madonna was greeted by a Romany with a dog on a string who shook her hand while subtly removing her watch, rings, necklace and fillings, and explained that the stables had become available as the horses had died very suddenly, but on the bright side they tasted lovely. Madonna then walked carefully on the uneven layer of fresh tarmac on her drive before accidentally buying pegs, twice.

In a state of moral confusion a bewildered Madonna then attempted to adopt all of the Gypsy children as she did not have a clue what else to do. This plan failed after she was met with blank looks when asking the children who their parents were. Madonna, now at a loss with how to deal with people if she is unable adopt them, apparently went for a bit of a lie down.

Although the pop star still maintains an outward aspect of being staunchly pro Gypsy one insider claims to have heard her ask "Does it still count as discrimination if you think that some people are utter, utter shit filled fuck-monkeys? It does? No, I was just wondering, that's all.

"Where's my bed gone?"