Suspicions were initially raised by the show's producers after Katie admitted to Celebrity presenter Anton Deck that she had been a 'total cack-filled wazz-pot for ages now' and needed to sort herself out. Katie went on to use 8 words above two syllables before announcing that she had dumped her cross-dressing, cage fighting boyfriend Alex Thingy, calling him 'a cross between Eddie Izzard and the Hulk' and suggesting he combine his two passions under the stage name Mrs Twat.

 

Celebrity producer Dave Watt told us "I think the final straw was when Katie said she was going home to spend some time with her kids away from the media for a few weeks. Since she's spent most of her life being a self-serving megalomaniac who just wants to drink her legs open every night we knew something was going on. We had a few quiet conversations with her on the subject and that's when the cockroach, whose name is Dennis, came clean with us. It's not a problem. In fact we're all in agreement - we prefer it.

 

"When we chatted with Dennis he seemed a thoroughly decent insect. We were initially concerned that he wouldn't have enough space in her head since he was sharing it with her brain, but he just laughed and told us not to worry about that. Apparently he's about three feet away from what Katie did all her thinking with anyway.

 

"And then of course we became worried for Katie herself. How did she feel about the whole thing? Was she suffering? Was she quietly screaming inside and trying to take back control? And that's when we realised.

 

"We couldn't give a fuck."