Version 6.0 beta of the Beckham has been, due to a minor issue with basic numeracy which has caused some red faces, called the Harper 7 Beckham. It sees a return to the female format not seen since the notorious version 2, launched under the title of Posh Spice, which became infamous due to serious stability issues when it was found alongside early versions of the Naughty Nanny, more often referred to as the Loos Bot or Filthy Little Gold Digging Slut (FLGDS).

The Beckham 2.0, already weakened by the removal of it's singing career (which many believed was a superfluous and unconvincing add-on at best which they were very relieved to see the back of anyway) was in no state to combat the FLGDS when the two came into contact. Updated versions were quickly released, with version 2.1 adding a hastily constructed and less than convincing smile when the Beckham was placed alongside it's predecessor, the hugely popular original version 1, which was also known as the David, or more often Golden Balls.

In contrast the Beckham 1.4 was hugely compatible with the FLGDS, although there were claims of a virus at the time that were later dismissed, but rather than reverting to the original version and abandoning the Beckham 2.1 even more updates were released in what was apparently a desperate attempt to improve stability and compatibility. This resulted in versions 2.3 with added breasts and the current version 2.4 which has been stripped back to an almost bare-bones release.

It was not the success of these versions that was notable however as much as the gradual decline of the FLGDS itself, which went through many versions and is now mainly used by the porn industry. In response later versions of the Beckham have been far closer to the original male model of the Golden Balls, giving us the Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz versions. It was with some surprise then that the announcement that another attempt at the female Beckham was being created.

We spoke with Professor Dave Watt from the Skopje Institute of Beckham Studies in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia, who told us: "What you have to realise is that, despite the criticism the Posh Spice version of the Beckham has received over the years, it still has it's own hardcore group of fans who have stuck with it religiously, despite the problems with stability and its apparent redundancy in recent years. These people are fanatical.

"I don't know what the shiny fuck is wrong with them."