Stinky Ponky spoke with Dave Watt from the media watchdog Stop That, It's Naughty! about the latest allegations. He told us "The BBC make me sick. They parade this fictional Thompson character about and tell us he's the boss, when his acting skills place him firmly in the bracket of an extra leftover from El Dorado. And then they pretend that there's a Trust in place made up of lovely people who want to make Britain happy with sunshine and flowers, probably all smelling like patchouli oil. What a load of unwashed bollocks.

"It's all part of an elaborate smoke screen set up by certain individuals to convince us that all is as it should be. That way they can spend all the money on drug fuelled sex parties and custard creams. Tune your telly to BBC6. Go on, do it. Don't bother - because you can't; it's about as real as Boris Johnson, Katie Price's exterior, or Jesus.

"The BBCs don't go any higher than 2, although they make a number of clever adverts for comedy shows that will appear on BBC3 which look so bad that no one would ever want to watch them. It's genius really. I even know the truth but I can't bear to try it just in case I'm wrong and get stuck watching some god awful shite that would make Mother Theresa rise from her grave, buy a shotgun and head for Shepherds Bush, muttering 'James Cordon, you fat bastard, you are utterly fucked.'

"At least they're getting rid of that filth peddler Jonathon Ross. Russell Brand won't be far behind, you'll see. We don't need scum like that. Fancy upsetting a British institution like Andrew Sachs. He would have never gone for a cheap laugh at the expense of others during his career as a retarded Spanish waiter.

"But the BBC have shot themselves in the foot this time, and no mistake. This BBC6 crap is the final straw. They must take us for dribbling, squirrel-brained spack-tards or Americans or something. I can exclusively reveal that behind the scenes the BBC is actually run by a group of super intelligent miniature space badgers from Mars disguised as the Blue Peter dog. They designed Konnie Huq using sticky back plastic and toilet rolls and intend to breed her with Richard Curtis to make years worth of lovely, cuddly sitcoms suitable for all the family.

"BBC6 my arse. It's like the whole 'there's a channel 5' bullshit all over again."