The delightful yellowness spread across the country early this morning as millions of Britons awoke to bluebirds gently pulling back their bedsheets and the distant sound of dwarf song. Rabbits and squirrels made tea and toast in hundreds of thousands of kitchens while badgers helped to get the kids ready for school. Mums found time to sing light hearted songs about how nice the world was while dads got an extra ten minutes of peace to enjoy their morning shit.

Sharon Watt, a mother from Leeds, told Stinky Ponky "I'm so pleased I can choose yellow. I hadn't even realised it was an option before. I knew we could have blue or red but I haven't really got shoes that would go with blue, and red clashes with my face. Mavis at number 19 says something about there being a green as well, but my husband says that we'd have to fuck trees or something. And the BNP's shitty brown is unthinkable; I'll leave it for Fuhrer Griffin and the other Nazis.

"No, all in all I think it's a wonderful thing that this Mick Legg fellow has popped up at the last second like a breathe of fresh air and made politics nice again, because what with the expenses scandal and Nazi racists Westminster was starting to look a bit like Hitler raping Bambi. As soon as they give the phone numbers out, which I presume will be in the final episode, I'll ring up and vote for Mick to win."

Sharon's husband Dave told Stinky Ponky "I just can't seem to hate foreigners and poofs enough to be a Tory, and lately I've been thinking that maybe it's not such a wise idea to let Labour carry on fucking the country up the arse for another term in office, so maybe it's time to give the yellows a shot at the title. Clegg reminds me of Hugh Grant in Love Actually, and let's be honest with each other - as a Prime Minister Grant was fucking magic. It would be great to see Clegg telling the Americans to fuck off and then having a dance about it. I know I can vote for him safe in the knowledge that I'll be doing no harm.

"Because he's got more chance of fucking the Pope than winning."