After Mrs Windsor delivered her speech to parliament a number of MPs criticized Mr Brown, suggesting that he had cynically taken advantage of the pure boredom that Mrs Majesty suffered on these occasions coupled with a Ron Burgundy-like habit of reading out whatever is put in front of her.

 

Although much of the speech focused on normal matters, many eyebrows were raised when Mrs The Queen was speaking about fiscal policy and said "My government will focus on financial recovery, unlike any government that David Cameron would put in place. Basically my government is the best there's ever been and there will never be another like it. Mr Cameron, who - I have this on good authority - has tiny genitals, is a bit of a knob really. Actually, he's a lot of a knob; he's the whole knob, and nothing but the knob."

 

Later, when discussing high speed rail transport, Her Royal Stampface said "My government will give us really fast trains. Really, really fast. I mean like shit off a shovel. I can guarantee that trains under David Cameron would get slower, because he's a knob you see. A knob with tiny little family jewels and a microscopic winky."

 

Other slurs included a suggestion that Mr Cameron liked "latex sex pyjamas" during discussions on social care, a reference to the Tory leader as a "fat little monkey with pretty hair and miniature fun-bits" when discussing communications in the digital age, and a comparison between the leader of the opposition and "the brown hole of a sweaty camel."

 

Mrs Liz 2 finished her speech with comments about spending national income on international development before adding "And David Cameron has the genitals of a mouse."