Diane Dodds, Democratic Unionist MEP has refused to sit next to BNP candidates as she claims they "smell like wee and have the lurgee."

The move comes as many other political figures shun the BNP after they recently won two seats at the European Parliament. It seems only fascists and racists retained any faith in British politics and turned up to vote. It's believed that many on the electoral register who were capable of walking and chewing at the same time didn't vote because they were too busy being violently sick at the thought of politicians squandering their hard earned cash on frivolous expenses.

Glenys Kinnock, wife of former labour leader Neil Kinnock and an MEP in her own right, shares Mrs Dodds' views regarding Britain's best known Nazis. She told Stinky Ponky "I don't blame her. I've been in the vicinity of Herr Griffin. His white hood and dress are sweat stained, giving him the distinct aroma of an incontinent grandparent. I refused to invite him or the other flabby fascist to my MEP drinks party recently. The smell of stale piss lingers you know."

BNP Fuhrer Griffin responded to Mrs Kinnock by calling her a "political prostitute" adding "I wouldn't go to Wales anyway as it's full of bloody foreigners singing Men of Harlech while furiously copulating with anything in wool."

At the European Parliament Stinky Ponky asked Mrs Dodds if there were any circumstances under which she would reconsider her stance. "No," she told us. "Sit next to the BNP? I'd rather lick dog shit off my husband's face."