May 22nd 2009

The planned merger between the Monster Raving Loony Party and the British National Party looks unlikely to go ahead after Loony leader Chief Qwertyuiop Squirrel Tits called the BNP "Far too loony for us. Quack."

The news does not come as a surprise to political correspondent Christian Syants who told Stinky Ponky "The planned merger has been watched closely by many who believed that it would forge a formidable political power not seen since the SDP merged with the Liberal Party to form the Liberal Democrats."

"Ok, that wasn't a good example."

"Right from the outset there were stark differences. While the Loonies were clearly suited to the BNP by being as British as shit tennis players the same could not be said in reverse. The BNP are an entirely different type of Loony."

It's believed that BNP policies left a bad taste in Loony mouths that could not be attributed to all of the crap that comes out of them. The Loony manifesto includes such hilarious policies as 'Cool on the outside' which plans to hilariously combat global warming by hilariously placing air conditioning units on the outside of buildings in an hilarious fashion. BNP policies such as 'Drive them into the sea from whence they came' and 'Tits on page three of everything with pages' were simply not funny enough to pass muster at Loony headquarters.

"I think the straw that broke the pantomime camel's back was probably 'Keep British jobseekers allowance for British jobseekers' " said Christian, who collects Cabbage Patch dolls.

When we asked Chief Q.S. Tits for his comments he said "I am a Jedi Badger" because he's a twat.