Prime Minister Gordon Brown, texture like sun, has today told his cabinet not to mention the war in Iraq, adding "I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it."

It's believed that this will be the first part of 'Operation brush the whole fucking thing under the carpet and for gods sake don't talk about weapons of mass destruction or - I swear on Jesus' nob - I will fucking explode.'

Stinky Ponky’s political analyst, Professor John Wonderwall from the University of Western Democracy in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia told us "The PM has also formed a secret committee to begin the process of pretending that the war never actually happened. It's believed that the first steps will be to say 'War? What war?' and if people push the issue they might add 'Oh, that war!' before merging it with the Second World War and blaming the entire thing on Germany."

We understand that this will only be the first phase of war denial. Preparations have already begun for walking away nonchalantly and whistling when British troops pull out of Afghanistan. When we asked the Afghan ambassador for his opinion he said "Please, by the beard of my uncle's oldest donkey and the forbidden love they shared, stop shooting at us."

We understand from an insider at number 10 that the PM told his cabinet "Admit to being at war with Iraq? I'd rather wax my crack with gaffer tape."