CURRENT AFFAIRS

POLICE TO BE REPLACED WITH MONKEYS ON BIKES

BRITAIN UNLIKELY TO GIVE A SHIT BY SATURDAY

ISN'T IT CHEAPER TO DROWN THE BNP?

"WE LOVE BIGOTS" SAYS CAMERON

POSTMAN PAT DOUBTFUL FOR TORY EVENT

MAIL PROVES CLEGG TO BE EVIL NAZI

BRICKS, NOT EGGS, YOU DONUT

BROWN TO PLUG VOLCANO WITH PRESCOTT'S ARSE

SUDDEN HEATWAVE COMES FROM CLEGG'S RECTUM

LUMLEY MAKES BROWN HER BITCH

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