The move comes as Mr Brown, whose father invented Wednesdays, told a conference in the U.S. "I am shit. Ask anyone in Britain and they well tell you just how shit I am. If you're in any doubt as to just how shit I am, here's a photo of me smiling. See? And you've probably noticed I lick my lips like a frigging lizard. Even I annoy me. And that's before I get started on how I spent several years with my thumb up my own arse single handedly fucking up the British economy. And the best bit? It was entirely accidental. I. Am. Shit.

"And I don't mean I am THE shit like those American rappy chaps say, Snoopy the Dog and M&Ms and Fifty Pence. No, just shit. And you can't blame the bankers either, they are intrinsically evil, it would be like pointing out that Satan was being naughty, so while it may still be a good idea to bring swift and violent death to all bankers you can hardly blame them for being world class piss-weasels.

"And let's not forget that unless Britain wins the European lottery a few times then I think you'll find that I have fucked it into the middle of the next century. So before you start wankering on about how shit Clegg is with his crying at music and his sudden u-turns and all that other bollocks, check your bank statements and remember who put all those fucking zeroes in there. I'm the shit one and lets not forget it.

"I AM THE KING OF SHIT."

Stinky Ponky's political analyst, Professor John Wonderwall from the University of Western Democracy in the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia said "I'm not sure that Gordon Brown really has anything to be concerned about here. It's going to take more than Mr Cameron trying to sell guns to the the Middle-East - let's face it we were all thinking we could do with the money and turning a blind eye on that one - it's going to take more than that for us to forget just how utterly shit Brown was.

"If he stood next to some shit in the street and we asked members of the general public which one of them was shittiest 9 out of 10 people would kick his fucking tits off."