A spokesman from the BNP gave a brief statement to the press this morning, saying "We have always loved blacks ever since we watched Different Strokes. Willis was funny as fuck, the dark little bugger. They are all welcome to come in and take a seat, as long as they give it up if a white person needs it. And the Pakis can come in too. Shit loads of us in the BNP like a good curry, so I bet we could get some good discounts from them if they become members. Or at their corner shops maybe. And of course being on the inside they will know the best way to go about getting them out of the country. Win win."

Davinda Watt, a doctor from Milton Keynes, said "This is amazing. I think I'll go out right now and have LOVE and HATE tattooed on my knuckles, shave my head and throw myself into the sea. I will tell myself to fuck off back home - not Chiswick where I was bought up but some place in India I think. Or possibly Sidmouth, where my dad was born. I don't know what I will mean to be honest. But I won't take any fucking shite from me, that's for sure! Now I just need to work out how to kick myself in the cock."

We asked Ben Jammin, whose great grandparents once heard of Nigeria, if he was joining the BNP for the love of the cause. He told us "God no. I'm only joining for two reasons. Firstly, because I know that they really, really don't want me to. And secondly, I want to get close enough to run as fast as I possibly can and hit that wob-eyed piss-weasel Griffin in the back of the head with a cricket bat. That would be a bit special. I think I'll try and catch him alone in the gents, away from his knuckle dragging cronies. Hopefully I will be able hit him hard enough to make his glass eye shoot out and land in the toilet.