Mr Brown made his comments after speaking to 65 year old pensioner Gillian Duffy while on the campaign trail in Rochdale. With a microphone still attached to his lapel, the Prime Minister returned to his car and was over heard saying "What in the name of flying fuckery were you thinking? You bunch of piss-riddled wank-tards! You're meant to have me kissing babies and playing games with retarded kids, but no, some fucking genius puts me with that bigoted old sow!

"Have I hired the frigging Muppets to plan my election campaign? Two days ago I was stood up by a CARTOON FUCKING PIG and now you put me with Fungus the Bogeyman's ugly grandmother! What next? Have you got me lined up for a quick chat with Gary Glitter? Maybe Fireman Sam would like to tell me to fuck off? Oh Cock it, I'm still wearing a microphone. Well, that's just perfect, isn't it? I've shat this election right down the pan. I may as well top it all off by spending a day pissing on the disabled."

A spokesman for the Labour Party later told a press conference "Mr Brown has personally arranged for a secretary to apologise to Mrs Duffy for the Bogeyman reference, but would like to point out that he actually said 'big-titted,' not bigoted. Mr Brown would never call anyone bigoted, even if they were a bit of a bigot, which we're not saying she was, gosh no. When it comes right down to it we're all much happier with the idea of the PM liking a pensioner's tits than we are with him calling her a bigot. So that's all sorted then."

In reaction to the Prime Minister's comments Tory leader David Cameron said "If you're a bigot being repressed by Gordon Brown, come to the Conservative Party. If you're a closet homophobe, or if you're simply too intelligent or posh to join the BNP, the Tories can offer you a place to hide from a foreign world full of women and poofs. A place where you can read the Daily Mail in peace, safe in the knowledge that the opinions of those around you are exactly the same as the ones you learned from your parents. And incidentally, Peppa Pig loves the living shit out of me."

Stinky Ponky caught up with Peppa Pig while she was filming her new series. She said "Actually, I think he's a cunt."