Your grip on reality... http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Thu, 8 Jul 2010 08:04:40 +0100 Thu, 8 Jul 2010 08:04:07 +0100 FeedForAll v2.0 (2.0.2.9) http://www.feedforall.com Singer George Michael's space ship was bought to an abrupt halt by an invisible building in London during the early hours of Sunday morning while the terrified pop star was fleeing at high speed from the evil, flying badger-fish that were chasing him. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/news/george.php 649B0F6A-15DA-42D4-8D27-BFB7E46E308B Thu, 8 Jul 2010 08:04:07 +0100 Children who are hiding their grotesque fatness behind a thin veil of healthy eating, excercise and skinniness are fooling nobody but their flabby little selves, says the NHS. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/news/fatkids.php CDF405C2-1D87-43E3-B46D-AB7358EF297B Mon, 5 Jul 2010 21:58:48 +0100 Advertising mogul Charles Saatchi has announced plans to neatly shift tons of crap from his collection into public hands - making it all your fault, you tossy, clueless wankers. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/saatchi.php FD277E0C-7854-4A08-9436-2542B6D3C966 Fri, 2 Jul 2010 13:31:17 +0100 Prime Minister David Cameron, texture like sun, has announced plans to cut public spending by replacing large sections of the police force with monkeys on bikes, leading many Labour politicians to say "We did this ages ago, didn't you notice?" http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/monkeys.php 5705DE04-D9E7-429A-A0BF-59EE7815127C Tue, 29 Jun 2010 20:48:22 +0100 Reports are coming in from Johannesburg that England Manager Fabio Capello has flown into an unprovoked rage earlier today, eating three photographers and rampaging through the city, crushing cars and demolishing buildings. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/sport/england.php AFF21303-C375-48D6-96C4-F028379AF9A9 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 22:07:34 +0100 Apple head honcho Steve Fucking Jobs has revealed a phone just like his other phone only different in ways that he told an audience in San Francisco all about except they missed most of it because they were too busy cheering. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/technology/jobs.php 71B4CEE7-61B2-468B-83DE-886A6395CD1C Tue, 8 Jun 2010 22:38:49 +0100 Producers of ITV's Britain's Got Talent are in hot water after a number of people pointed out that actually, no, Britain really hasn't got any fucking talent at all according to your tossy programme, you wankers. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/talent.php D4271063-8C6D-422D-ADD6-B7610B22944E Mon, 7 Jun 2010 22:09:05 +0100 A cockroach recently accused of eating chips in the Coventry Street branch of KFC, which was consequently fined £11,000, has publically said "No I fucking didn't." http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/news/kfc.php 3C1C445F-701B-4801-B4B6-75348E12CED0 Tue, 18 May 2010 13:29:19 +0100 With the UK General Election promising to bore the living shit out of everyone tonight many polls are suggesting that most of Britain is completely unlikely to give a squirrel's tit by Saturday. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/election.php 6051B323-D501-4B73-841B-3E428C834564 Thu, 6 May 2010 22:39:53 +0100 Widower of Jade Goody and full time bastard Jack Tweed has admitted to feeling suicidal after recent rape allegations, leading many people to send messages of encouragement, such as "DO IT DO IT FUCKING DO IT." http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/jack.php 3395DF8D-BE91-4288-A7C0-F29A258C21EA Thu, 6 May 2010 13:39:25 +0100 I got a letter the other day from my old mate Dave. Nice to hear from him really because we lost touch after school and although he's a friend on Facebook I never seem to get round to holding a real conversation with him. You know how it is. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/features/editorial.htm#dave 3D20D8D8-4D98-4F5C-8C9F-760053473651 Wed, 5 May 2010 22:59:40 +0100 Earlier today BNP Fuhrer Nick Griffin revealed plans to offer non-white British people £50,000 to return to the land of their ancestors, leading many people to point out that it would be far cheaper to drown the BNP in a barrel of cat piss. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/50k.php 340AE153-2A4D-48BB-B832-749268FC131E Fri, 30 Apr 2010 10:29:20 +0100 Following an embarrassing microphone blunder by Prime Minister Gordon Brown, texture like sun, where he was overheard calling a member of the public a bigot, David Cameron has announced that "there will always be room for bigots in the Conservative Party." http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/bigot.php E71AEECF-02CA-494A-BBEF-332F6F00CA33 Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:37:59 +0100 A spokesman for Postman Pat has told Stinky Ponky that Pat is now unlikely to appear at an upcoming Conservative Party election event after admitting that David Cameron made him "pig fucking sick." http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/pat.php F7233C5E-6A74-4B30-91DE-54D3AE5CDF12 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 22:00:55 +0100 Pop princess Britney Spears has been ordered by her father Jamie to leave her breasts behind when she goes out if she can't be trusted to behave responsibly with them. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/britney.php 3B830E59-F298-4326-A769-BFE9585B681A Mon, 26 Apr 2010 20:41:30 +0100 The Daily Mail has today revealed rock-solid, factual proof that Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg is an evil, right-wing Nazi; although despite this they still don't seem to like him. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/mail.php AFC38982-6CAC-42B2-9810-212038380348 Thu, 22 Apr 2010 18:18:52 +0100 A number of major supermarkets have agreed to join a campaign which aims to sell bricks in egg boxes in order to help members of the public choose the correct type of object to throw at a politician. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/eggs.php 23EFD781-90EE-41C6-AE1E-81CAFCDDD2FD Wed, 21 Apr 2010 22:19:03 +0100 Warbling Scottish mentalist Susan Boyle has revealed that her autobiography is likely to be ghost written by her cat Pebbles, who apparently knows her "better than anyone else" and who is also "fucking ace at darts." http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/pebbles.php 9DB03802-8F3C-4B2E-B43E-63300DC1A9B1 Wed, 21 Apr 2010 00:07:14 +0100 So - here's one for your geography test kids, just to sharpen you up for those upcoming exams; Q: What causes earthquakes? http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/features/idiot.htm#iran B55BF3C6-1EA3-4DBC-A413-DD2D33BE8FA9 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 23:03:29 +0100 Prime Minister Gordon Brown, texture like sun, has today announced plans to plug the volcano in Iceland with John Prescott's arse. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/prescott.php 97E7ADD8-A0BC-42C7-A572-18BDF9BC1FF2 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:37:20 +0100 Meteorologists are advising that the sudden spell of sunny weather is a direct result of something lovely and warm shining out of Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg's arse. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/current/yellow.php 65A6588D-CF6E-44A6-8B88-A5B82A48E7BC Fri, 16 Apr 2010 19:17:49 +0100 Former I'm A Celebrity Queen of the Jungle Kerry Katona has been questioned by police investigating an explosion in Iceland, where the former Atomic Kitten used to work on the till before leaving amidst allegations of being an irritating gob shite. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/news/iceland.php 0D33B3D9-3732-4A37-8D19-96CD60D2985E Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:10:01 +0100 Once upon a time there was a man called Peter who lived in Bolton. Peter was a fucking idiot, and decided to prove it one day when he was at the Egerton House Hotel, where he worked as a handyman. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/features/idiot.htm#tree 4B1BF3F5-1080-41A9-8C5A-B35814128CD6 Wed, 14 Apr 2010 22:26:35 +0100 Although the first episode of Britain's Got Talent But It Always Stays Well Clear Of This Show has not yet been shown, a young border terrier from Huddersfield has been tipped to win the competition with an act that involves chasing Ant McPartlin around the stage and biting the stupid fucker. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/entertainment/ant.php 51B44F98-BB42-4FC7-829F-F26E87D75FE8 Wed, 14 Apr 2010 20:35:58 +0100 According to confectionery companies an extremist religious group known as 'Christians' recently attempted to steal Easter with an elaborate tale about some bloke getting nicked by the Romans bloody ages ago. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/news/easter.php 8A0E2014-30AB-4FB4-B9FF-9A57A36471DF Tue, 13 Apr 2010 21:11:24 +0100 We've reached another one of those moments in the year when commercialism has made us lose sight of what Easter is really all about... chocolate eggs. Oh, and some bloke called Jesus, although I don't see the connection myself. Anyway, here's a song about him. http://www.stinkyponky.co.uk/music/JesusHChrist.mp3 D9BE4390-0B92-4877-AA3D-C7D22B2EC7A9 Mon, 5 Apr 2010 11:03:34 +0100